The Sin of Thin: My Eating Disorder
On August 15th, 2008 my life changed. I found myself in the middle of Wauwatosa’s own Aurora Psychiatric Hospital, room 122. Never had I felt so indifferent, never had I felt so isolated, and never had I felt so fat.
My parents had always pushed me to “do my best” and “be my best.” I graduated as a member of National Honor Society, with a 3.7 cumulative GPA, I have attended some of the best schools for crafting my violin skills, I was a girl scout, and I was a first-team All Conference volleyball captain, blah blah blah.
On the other side of the fence, I have experienced what it truly means to be a rebel teen, to take a walk on the wild side. So yes, my life mirrored that of many teens before me. However, deep down I was harboring a sinister secret, one that I never thought I would be able to face, let alone write about. Read more>>
On August 15th, 2008 my life changed. I found myself in the middle of Wauwatosa’s own Aurora Psychiatric Hospital, room 122. Never had I felt so indifferent, never had I felt so isolated, and never had I felt so fat.
My parents had always pushed me to “do my best” and “be my best.” I graduated as a member of National Honor Society, with a 3.7 cumulative GPA, I have attended some of the best schools for crafting my violin skills, I was a girl scout, and I was a first-team All Conference volleyball captain, blah blah blah.
On the other side of the fence, I have experienced what it truly means to be a rebel teen, to take a walk on the wild side. So yes, my life mirrored that of many teens before me. However, deep down I was harboring a sinister secret, one that I never thought I would be able to face, let alone write about. Read more>>
Bright Side Thinkin'
As most us know, there are countless paths of life that many are advised from a young age not to go down. Whether it’s the incredibly disastrous road of drugs and alcohol abuse or the violent and distressing dangers of gangbanging, these teachings may be cliché and played on repeat, but they are journeys that most of us know not to take. Although many people are smart enough not to start a heroine habit or have realized the consequences of beating up their enemies after school, we often don’t realize that it can be the little things that can lead us into the most trouble. Sometimes, the paths that many of us trek towards can be the ones that are commonly overlooked, but can be equally as tragic. From personal experience, the destructive ways of pessimism can do just as much damage.
And girlfriend, I am putting my pessimistic foot down.
Oh, the complicated woes of young adulthood are what seem to have leaded me to the “half empty” philosophy, lately and it’s time I do something about it. Yes, this can be a time of stress and confusion, worry and doubt. Becoming an adult can be a frightening situation, filled with uncertainty and newfound layers of responsibility and much needed understanding. With all of these less than peachy scenarios, it’s important that I realize that there is still so much positivity in my life and that it’s never really that bad. I repeat; it’s never really that bad. I allow myself to get so worked up over many things that I can’t even control, constantly pushing my thoughts in feelings into the darkness instead of the light. I began to really feel my back slump forward and saw how much my negativity is truly affecting my life…in no way for the better.
Lately, when someone would say a positive statement about something, I would counteract that up with a negative down. I’d catch myself seconds later and think “Wow, was my statement really necessary?” No, it wasn’t. Being negative isn’t attractive, it’s not glamorous, it’s not cheap, it’s not in, and I know it’s not environmentally conscious. The only thing it seems to be is a waste of time. It’s a stress inducer and a sunshine stealer and it’s not getting me anywhere.
A common problem of mine is worrying about what career path I’m going to get into. I’m interested in a lot of different things, which often makes it difficult to see a clear avenue that I would like to pursue. I panic about the idea of never finding my true passion, feeling that I’ve been cursed with the tragic title of PASSIONLESS. A bit over-dramatic; what do you think? I’ve noticed that I’ve been looking down instead of looking up and that has to stop! The optimistic standpoint I need to firmly plant my feet on is one to embrace the unknown and the unidentified. So what if I don’t know exactly what I want to do as of now. There is so much out there for me to explore and an infinite number of experiences await me and my digital camera. I can’t take pictures of anything exciting if I’m sitting around in my bedroom afraid to live, afraid to try.
Pessimism and negativity can have an intense hold over you that is often strong and hardheaded. The black cloud that starts to permanently fixate itself over your day can be knocked down and put to rest; it’s all in your hands. Be in control of your state of mind, of your happiness. Don’t allow your amazing personality to be blocked by a glass that isn’t even full! Remember to think positively as much as you are physically able to do so…it’s only then that true success can find you. “When the road get’s bumpy, don’t be a grumpy, just smile, smile, smile and be happy.” Google the lyrics; I’m going to.
- Regina Selma
As most us know, there are countless paths of life that many are advised from a young age not to go down. Whether it’s the incredibly disastrous road of drugs and alcohol abuse or the violent and distressing dangers of gangbanging, these teachings may be cliché and played on repeat, but they are journeys that most of us know not to take. Although many people are smart enough not to start a heroine habit or have realized the consequences of beating up their enemies after school, we often don’t realize that it can be the little things that can lead us into the most trouble. Sometimes, the paths that many of us trek towards can be the ones that are commonly overlooked, but can be equally as tragic. From personal experience, the destructive ways of pessimism can do just as much damage.
And girlfriend, I am putting my pessimistic foot down.
Oh, the complicated woes of young adulthood are what seem to have leaded me to the “half empty” philosophy, lately and it’s time I do something about it. Yes, this can be a time of stress and confusion, worry and doubt. Becoming an adult can be a frightening situation, filled with uncertainty and newfound layers of responsibility and much needed understanding. With all of these less than peachy scenarios, it’s important that I realize that there is still so much positivity in my life and that it’s never really that bad. I repeat; it’s never really that bad. I allow myself to get so worked up over many things that I can’t even control, constantly pushing my thoughts in feelings into the darkness instead of the light. I began to really feel my back slump forward and saw how much my negativity is truly affecting my life…in no way for the better.
Lately, when someone would say a positive statement about something, I would counteract that up with a negative down. I’d catch myself seconds later and think “Wow, was my statement really necessary?” No, it wasn’t. Being negative isn’t attractive, it’s not glamorous, it’s not cheap, it’s not in, and I know it’s not environmentally conscious. The only thing it seems to be is a waste of time. It’s a stress inducer and a sunshine stealer and it’s not getting me anywhere.
A common problem of mine is worrying about what career path I’m going to get into. I’m interested in a lot of different things, which often makes it difficult to see a clear avenue that I would like to pursue. I panic about the idea of never finding my true passion, feeling that I’ve been cursed with the tragic title of PASSIONLESS. A bit over-dramatic; what do you think? I’ve noticed that I’ve been looking down instead of looking up and that has to stop! The optimistic standpoint I need to firmly plant my feet on is one to embrace the unknown and the unidentified. So what if I don’t know exactly what I want to do as of now. There is so much out there for me to explore and an infinite number of experiences await me and my digital camera. I can’t take pictures of anything exciting if I’m sitting around in my bedroom afraid to live, afraid to try.
Pessimism and negativity can have an intense hold over you that is often strong and hardheaded. The black cloud that starts to permanently fixate itself over your day can be knocked down and put to rest; it’s all in your hands. Be in control of your state of mind, of your happiness. Don’t allow your amazing personality to be blocked by a glass that isn’t even full! Remember to think positively as much as you are physically able to do so…it’s only then that true success can find you. “When the road get’s bumpy, don’t be a grumpy, just smile, smile, smile and be happy.” Google the lyrics; I’m going to.
- Regina Selma